ROAD REPORT
TUE JAN 5, 1999
????????, CO

WE KNOW WHERE WE ARE, BUT YOU DON'T! YOU INSIPID ILLITERATE MORONS!

Because we love our readers...we'll extend the DAMNED "GUESS OUR NEXT DESTINATION" Contest until somebody, someone, somehow, comes up with the right answer! And we've had plenty of wrong ones already!

Don't be DOOMED to spend ETERNITY in ignorance!

How hard could it be? We know exactly where we are! And we've never even been here before!

So here's a round up of some of the clues so far...When we were in Lubbock, TX, we were two days away or so from our destination. We drove Northwest through Albuquerque and continued mostly NW till we finally reached our destination! A state, which you should even know by now if you've paid attention to today's report!

We gave you a riddle just chocked full of clues [reprinted yet again below!], that we thought might SPELL it out for you.

It's been an upLIFTing experience being here so far, and unlike the rumors, it won't last an ETERNITY! So if anyone -- anyone! -- can guess the location, we'll tell you more about it.

Maybe.

Half the ROAD REPORT staff has been down with a cold the last few days, but even she was able to figure out where we were going!

Here's the DAMNED riddle again [and for the last time, we might add, we can't STAY HERE FOREVER!]:

Lower than heaven, and colder than hell; It's uplifting at times, and descending as well. Many have waited there endlessly; But maybe we'll fly through it breathlessly. Only time and a good Catholic priest can tell!

Got it now?? Let us know! And thanks for reading the ROAD REPORT!

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